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Even though, I am writing this article in relation to Canadian laws and retail industry, I am sure that crap like this happens all around the world. It's time to educate your sorry ass and stop being an idiot on whom the retail industry makes more than enough money.

Alright, while I live by "Don't judge the message by the messanger" philosophy, I don't expect everyone to do so. Moreover, a lot of people's knowledge is driven by misinformation of others, which is why, for example, so many people believe that it's illegal to have booze in the car, while the law prohibits only open containers.

Having said that, I will not tell you in this article anything that I do not know for sure, and should I have doubt, I'll be sure to let you know. Moreover, I work in a fucking marketing department, and am quite familiar with all the great lengths we go to ensure people buy our shit; it's time to view the system from the other end - the consumer's end!

The stuff about security fuckers who attempt to check your bags or stop you comes from a security officer training I underwent a few month ago... that was quite eye-opening.

Let the fun begin!

A day before Christmas, I received a bonus at work that was given in a form of a cheque. Since my regular pay is processed using direct deposit, depositing it to my bank would inflict a 7-day hold, and I wanted the money right away.

The solution was to use one of the "We cash cheques" places to cash my bonus. I went to a shit place called MoneyGram, after about 10 minutes of waiting for 3 employees serve 3 customers, it was finally my turn.

Since it was a 4-day long weekend, beer was already cold and women were wet; waiting for the employee to do "checks" on my cheque for five minutes was making me pissed off. Finally, after him conversing with apparent manager, he layed a verdict onto me:

Him:

You need to give us two references

Me:

Um, what? What references?

Him:

We need two people that you know; their names and phone numbers

Me:

What kind people?

Him:

Any people that do not live with you

Me:

Why?!

Him:

(mumbling) Because.... MoneyGram... credit check

Me:

What?

Him:

(again unsure) MoneyGram doesn't do credit check

At this point, since MoneyMart was just across the street, I simply told him to give me my shit back. He hesitated, glanced at his manager, but complied; and I left their shitty establishment.

Let's expound on what happened here. Here's the logic: you're cashing a cheque, they don't know if they can trust you, but tell you they they will trust you, if you can quickly give them info on any two people. Moreover, they do not call the people you give them right away to confirm that they actually know you, and even if they did, the "reference" people would have absolutely no business with your cheques. OK, MoneyGram doesn't do credit checks... so fucking what? How do these "references" help with your credit?

Think for a moment... why would a company require you to give them two names and phone numbers in order to cash your cheque when said people will most likely just hang up on that company should it try to call them if your cheque is fake. Why? Think! One word: "solicitation" They need more customers! They need names and numbers and, most importantly, a good reason to call these people to offer their shit. While they can easily get the names and numbers, you are giving them a good reason, or rather excuse to harass your friends.

Even though I left quickly, it's not the last of me that MoneyGram saw. For every cheque that I'll need cashed, I'll make sure to first stop at their shit store and make sure that I have more than enough time to waste there. Although, I might not get my cheque cashed at the end, I still would have tons of fun making them sweat. Here are a few points I would like to endure next time:

• I want to see a fucking privacy policy that outlines every point of how the personal information of the "reference" people is to be used by MoneyGram.
• I want to know what exactly justifies the need for these "reference" people
• I definitely want to know how these "reference" people infuence my "credit" disposition with MoneyGram
• Why am I required to disclose personal information of my friends without their consent?

In the meantime, MoneyGram can suck my cock!

Today was Boxing Day and, having received a Best Buy's gift card for Chrismas, I went to their overpriced piece of shit store.

After browsing for about 10 minutes, I've decided that I didn't really want anything from them and headed towards the exit. To my surprise, there was a lineup.

"What the fuck?", I thought to myself. After jumping around to see what the fuck this line up was about, I saw an employee checking receipts and bags of every customer that was leaving. How about that for insulting your customers? I quickly by-passed the line up and left the store without even getting any attention onto me (yes, that was the sad part).

The related security officer law in Ontario states that no employee can pose as a security officer unless he actually is one and is on duty. I'm not really sure how that applies to bag checking, but having some 17 year old kid stopping me and looking into my bag is rather fucking annoying.

Even if the fucker was an actual security officer, he has no right to force you for a bag check or even hold you from leaving the store! You know all those assholes in Walmart that check your receipts? How about you tell them to go fuck themselves next time? They are not even allowed to search you, even if they legally arrest you! They sure will try to pursuade you into showing shit in your pockets or your bag, but how about you grow a pair and tell them to fuck off? Some people, especially kids, are excusing themselves that they might get banned from the store for not showing the bag. Well, that's just a load of pussy bullship. First, this isn't a police department; they don't have your ID to write you up or any other nonsense bullshit. Second, when you come back, how do you expect that "ban" to be enforced? "Oh, I'm sorry sir, but I can't let you in because you look like a guy who refused a bag search the other day." Can you really imagine any employee/security people telling you that? No? Me neither. In the worst case, yell for the manager - he'll let you in.

The only reason a security officer - or rather any person - can stop you on the way out is when they saw you commit a criminal offence right there and then and are in "pursuit". Even if they stop for a piss after seeing you steal shit, they can no longer arrest you. Yes, I've said "arrest". In fact, even if they simply say to you "Sir, please stop!", they are already holding you under "arrest" because they are restricting your freedoms. The reason I like the word "arrest" is because it's a powerful word.

If after you tell the receipt checker to fuck off, a security officer will try to stop you; politely inquire him for the reason that he is "arresting" you. It's much more powerful than simply saying "Why?" in response to being asked to stop and show your bag. Should the asshole actually try to hold you physically, threaten with assault charges, or the very least loss of employment with the "company" due to excessive use of force.

Security officers have no special rights at all. Even though, every person knows that, virtually all seem to sheepishly stop and show your bags. Why? Because there are too many pussies. Too many are afraid to be different from the rest of the herd and stand up for their rights. Too many are afraid to be "embarrassed" when standing up for themselves, when the real embarrassment is that they got no balls to actually do that.

I'd like to make you aware, or rather remind you about what most seem to have forgotten. It's THEM who want YOUR money. It's THEM who spend billions of dollars to make sure that YOU go to THEM to spend YOUR money. Stop being a dipshit, and don't let them fish out unnecessary info from you just so THEY could make more money off of you and your friends. I'd like to quote a manager in the movie Office Space: "People can get a burger anywhere, they come to Chachkis for the atmosphere and attitude".

Remember, you can get the shit you need anywhere and there are a lot of people who will kiss your ass to make sure you go to them - don't let asshole businesses think they got you by the balls.

Security officers are just men in pretty uniforms. They aren't cops who give you fucking speeding tickets. Why don't you grow some balls (or tits) and stand up for yourself. Don't be afraid to ask for the manager and demand respect for yourself and other customers.

All the bag checks, "reference" people, and all the info you so promptly give away to all the stores are there for one simple reason - it's to make more money to the owner of said store or business. A common excuse they use is "in your interest", "to serve you better" or a "valuable customer" it's all just to make you feel more special than you really are and to ensure that you spend more of your dough.

Stop being a dipshit pussy sheep. Know your rights and stand up for yourself.

I would like to address all the business owners around the world and to demonstrate how one pissed off customer can do much more damage than you think. If MoneyGram and Best Buy would lose just my business, they would not lose that much. However, right now I wrote this AWESOME article telling the entire world how shitty their customer service is, and now more and more people will avoid your shit stores. How about that mother fuckers?

MoneyGram is shit, go to MoneyMart, they have better rates and their staff is not retarded.

Best Buy is shit, go to The Source or Future Shop. Even piece of shit Wal-Mart is better than Best Buy - not only with prices but with quality of service too. Don't go to Best Buy just to have your bag checked by an underage booger eater.

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